Car Corner

From www.caroftheday.org

I have a small problem.  I don’t care for the Toyota Camry.  And when I say “I don’t care” I really mean “I wish I had a Spy Hunter style missile launcher to destroy them.”

If there was a Camry Haters Anonymous I would attend the meetings and introduce myself with “Hi, my name is Gary, I’m a Camry Hater.”

Why do I **** the bestselling car in America?  It is kind of a long story.  I recognize that a Toyota Camry is a well made car.  If you own a Camry, I mean no personal offense, but the Camry has no soul.

A Camry wasn’t made for people who like cars.  A Camry has no idea of what is fun about driving.  A  Camry represents what would happen if Consumer Reports ruled the world.

If you have no passion about driving or cars, if you only care about getting from point A to point B, if you think of your car and your dishwasher in the same thought, then the Camry is right for you.

A Dishwasher and a car in the same thought? There isn’t a “The Truth about Dishwashers” website for a reason.  A dishwasher is a dishwasher.  It is a simple appliance that makes your life easier.  People aren’t enthusiastic about their dishwashers.  Even the yahoos at MTV don’t have a “Pimp My Dishwasher” show to further help the youth of America’s brain to leak out of their collective ear.

Paul Walker and Vin Diesel won’t be starring in a film entitled the “The Clean and the Cleanliness”, that highlights the underground world of dishwasher racing.  We won’t hear cheesy lines like “I clean my dishes in a high speed, no spot cycle, in those ten minutes or less I’m free.” or “Ask any dishwasher, any real dishwasher, it doesn’t matter whether you clean your dishes with a drop or a gallon, clean is clean!”

That is because a dishwasher is a freaking appliance! There is nothing to be passionate about, it is just an appliance.

And that is my problem with the Camry, it is an appliance.  It has no sporting soul.  It’s not that “fun-to-drive” is low on the Camry’s priority list; it is that “fun-to-drive” isn’t even on the list, or on the list next to the list of good things about a Camry.

This hatred for the Camry is contagious to other cars that are related to the Camry.

Whenever I see a Lexus ES, I don’t see Lexus’ excellent entry level luxury sedan.  I don’t see a car that is an amazing combination of value, quality and luxury.  I see a tarted up Camry!  I see Toyota tricking people in buying “Fancy Camrys”.  I’m ticked at Toyota for tricking these people into buying a dressed up Camry.

When I see a Toyota Avalon I simply see a bloated over-sized Camry.  The Corolla is simply a mini-Camry wannabe.  A Highlander? I don’t see Christopher Lambert on his quest to be “The One.” I see a Camry SUV.

And the worst offender, the worst pretender, the most confusing vehicle of all is the Toyota Solara.  I seriously can’t believe that people buy this car.  I would rather eat glass than own a Solara.

I just want to grab the Solara owners and ask them “what were you thinking?”  Were they even thinking?  The Toyota Solara is an automotive oxymoron.  It is the sporty Camry.  I can’t imagine someone being a the car lot looking at a Camry thinking “this is a fine car and can probably do a fine job of cleaning my dishes, I wonder if there is a bloated coupe version of this car with a lame name?”

Do they even know that they just bought a Camry coupe?  Or are they unsuspecting victims thinking they bought the cool Toyota coupe?

Because the Camry appeals to the people who don’t care about the joy of driving it attracts a disproportionate amount of bad drivers.  The next time you on the road and there is an obliviot (oblivious idiots) doing a famous job of horrible driving, more often than not it will be a Camry or Camry-base vehicle. I’m talking about cars doing a 14-point turn on a 2 lane road, cars backing up the entrance ramp, cars sitting through green lights and driving 15 miles under the posted speed limit.

So that is my cross to bear.  I **** the bestselling car in the country and am forced to see them everywhere.   And if you hear of some horrible Camry **** crimes I promise it wasn’t me.

PS – There is one exception to my blanket Camry **** and that is the new V6 SE it has a bit of soul and some respectable performance numbers.

Most classic car collectors (me included) have always maintained that a 4-door sedan wasn’t really a classic car. Usually the argument was about the styling and desirablility. A popular argument has alway been “just because it’s old

doesn’t make it a classic”. This is likely still true but all older cars that have been restored may be viewed as a classic car to some degree. It’s true that a coupe or convertible is

going to be more desirable than a 4-door in most cases, but later I’ll give you some reasons why a 4-door might be the way to go.

In this article classic cars will basically be a catchall name for all the cars that I’m discussing here, so bear with me.

Here is a brief trip through history to try and explain how the 4-door kind of got shoved aside as a classic car. If someone is restoring or making a street rod from the twenties, thirties or

forties car a 4-door is sometimes more desirable than a roadster or a coupe. This is due to utility being very important as a lot of owners like to cruise with their family and friends.

In 1949 there was a big change as most cars now came with rear seats and could carry four or more people in comfort, so there wasn’t much reason to choose the utility of a sedan over a coupe or convertible. With the utility factor gone buyers started buying classic cars based on desirability. This really kicked into high gear when the hardtops became the hot ticket in the

early fifties.

When the muscle car era began in 1964 almost no one looking for a muscle car ordered a 4-door because muscle cars were built on the premise of low weight and high horsepower. Today most

buyers would prefer a car from 1964 to 1972 to be a muscle car or at least have the appearance of one which of course excludes the 4-doors.

As I’m writing this I’m beginning to be a little more tolerant of 4-doors than I was yesterday. This started this morning as I approached a 1966 Chevelle Malibu from the rear and saying to

myself “that’s a good looking classic car” and then as I passed I said “too bad it’s a 4-door”. Shortly after the “different strokes for different folks syndrome” kicked in and I started

thinking, there must be some reasons why a 4-door would be a good car to own and by golly I thought of some. Even though a 4-door (even a 4-door hardtop) will never have style of a hardtop or

a convertible there are a number of reasons why they are a good deal. Here they are:

1. First of all, the price is going to be much less than a hardtop, sometimes as much as 50% less, mainly because they are less desirable.

2.Secondly many 4-doors are still original. A lot of them will be one or two owner cars and likely be low milage. Many will be passed down from parents and will be in very good condition. This is a plus as there will be less expense for restoration and you can put your own touches on it.

3. Third the utility is greater in a 4-door because of the back doors letting people get in and out easier plus there will be more leg room. Kids, wives and older people will appreciate this.

4. Fourth your insurance will likely cost less than the sportier cars as the insurance company will know that someone who buys a 4-door will likely be a safer driver because it’ll probably be a family car.

5. Fifth the operating cost most likely be less because most of the 4-door cars had smaller engines and most had automatic transmissions.

This in itself will keep the desire to hotrod down to a minimum which will save money in gas and parts.

6. Sixth and probably most important is the fact that the wife will be much more receptive to your buying a classic car if you can explain how the whole family can go cruising instead of just you and your buddy. I speak from experience.

There are likely more reasons for someone to buy a 4-door but I can’t think of them right now. If you have any let me know and I update this

article it the future.

Author: Don Levy My website at Classic Car Hunter has over a thousand classic cars and trucks, muscle cars, hotrods street rods and assorted cars for sale along with an area to list your car for sale.

There are also many articles like this about the classic car hobby.

My blog address is Classic Car Hunter Blog

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